Is this really happening?

Okay, I'm doing a blog. I kinda sorta tried doing a blog back in the dark ages of Blogdom, circa 2004, but it wasn't nearly as popular as it is now, and I thought I'd give it another whirl.

When I signed up for this blog page, I immediately found myself overwhelmed, frustrated, and as a result, acting like a toddler. I don't really know why it was bothering me so much, so I'm going to blame my Bipolar. A lot of people think that's a cop-out, but here are my reasons that blaming a cranky, ranty mood on my mental illness is NOT a cop-out:

1.) Having Bipolar is a legitimate problem, and reacting to seemingly insignificant events (or non-events, such as not liking the formatting style of a blog site) is part of the MO (that's modus operandi, in case you aren't up on your Latin abbreviations).

2.) I talk in parenthetical statements (and go off on tangents) a lot, so I apologize if this is hard to follow.

3.) That really shouldn't have been point #2, but too late. I haven't found the delete button on my keyboard yet.

4.) Oh, wait, I totally know where the delete button is, I just don't feel like censoring myself (which is also part of the MO for someone with Bipolar!)... and we are BACK ON TOPIC! YES!

5.) (or 2, really--please see paragraph two above to remember what this list is for.) Other people blame their actions/reactions on stuff all the frickin' time; i.e. "Oh, I don't like guys with beards, but I was drunk, so that's why I kissed you for an hour" or "I totally meant to be on time to work this morning, but I had to poop finally after not going for three days because of all the pain killers I take, and I did NOT want to miss that opportunity" or "I swear, I would've called you, but my phone was out of minutes and then I lost it and by the time I found it the battery was dead and then I couldn't find the charger and then it was two months later and I couldn't remember where we met and that would've been awkward." Um... so yeah, if those excuses can be used, so can mine. Which is legitimate, if you refer back to #1.

6./3.) I am a perfectionist. It may not look like it, but that's because I'm that other type of perfectionist. I learned this in Freshman Year Psychology (which really doesn't mean anything at all, because I might not be remembering it correctly). Anyway. There are two types of perfectionists. There's the perfectionist who will continue to strive for perfection until such heavenly state is achieved, or death happens. I am not this type of perfectionist. Obviously. The other type of perfectionist is what I'm like. I want to do things perfectly. I would strongly prefer to do things perfectly. But I am a Realist, and I know this will never, ever happen. Therefore, I don't even try, beyond the first attempt. This isn't always true. But it is for most things. Like playing the guitar, for example. I picked it up thinking, "I already play the piano and know the notes and besides I play by ear so this is going to be a piece of cake!" but what happened was, I picked up the guitar and it felt like I was holding an object from another planet, something I'd never seen before in my life, and what came out when I strummed the strings was not a melodic, acoustic version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," but instead sounded more like I'd just dropped my cat on a chalkboard. So I gave up. I (almost literally) threw the guitar back at its owner and said, "This is DUMB!" and for the rest of my life, I will have to live with the knowledge that I can't play the guitar ever because it's, obviously, not possible for me.

7./4.) Some of these blog sites really are tricky to figure out, especially when one is going on very little sleep and may be just a wee (wee!) bit hungover. Also, I am a Realistic Perfectionist and Bipolar, so BACK OFF.

I totally lost my train of thought. Totally.

Oh yeah. Why I don't think using my Bipolar as an excuse for my reaction to blog-making is not a cop-out. (Thank goodness I know how to scroll up and read what's at the top of the page!). I think this list is the answer to the question, don't you?

So, here's my first blog post, in the blogiverse. Remember this day. It will forever be my blogversary. Oooh, I should write a poem, to commemorate and stuff.

I once knew a chic from the North
Who chose to boldly sally forth
into the unknown...

Nope. That's not working. Limericks are DUMB!

O Bloggy Blog!
O Bloggy Blog!
How spacious are your blank boxes!
O Bloggy Blog!
O Bloggy Blog!
I really like that band called "Fleet Foxes!"

You know what? I'll write a poem some other time.

If you think they can handle it, tell your friends about this. I WANT TO SEE NUMBERS!!!!!!

P.S. Here is a cute picture of my cat, CC. Because 3/4 of the Internet is used to view cute cat pictures.